I am so thankful for a new life and a new name in Christ! These are not just words, but a newness I have actually experienced! Anyone who really knows me can tell you that I am definitely not the same person I used to be!
If you are reading this today and are not in the family of God through Christ's saving work on the cross, and through faith and belief that he is the only one who can save you from the wages of your sin, which is death eternal; my prayer is for God to do his redemptive work in your soul and give you a new name that I may see you someday in eternity.
If you are in Christ, we continually need encouragement as God works in us and through us. So, whether you are in Christ or not, I came across some words in my journal that God spoke to my heart in 2012 and I believe someone else may need to hear these words today. Please apply them to yourself and your life. I am going to share them and trust God to use them in whatever way he chooses, wherever you are at in life.
Here they are:
FREEDOM IS THE ANSWER TO EVERY ACHING SOUL. LIVE LIFE TODAY IN THE FREEDOM YOU ALREADY POSSESS. EVERY CHILD OF GOD POSSESSES FREEDOM IN CHRIST. CHRIST HAS SET YOU FREE FROM THE POWER OF SIN AND DEATH THROUGH HIS WORK ON THE CROSS. THAT'S WHERE YOU NEED TO START- HIS WORK ON THE CROSS. FROM THERE YOU CAN MOVE TO HIS SANCTIFYING WORK IN YOUR HEART.
IT IS LIKE THIS...THE LORD LIVES AND BREATHES INSIDE YOUR BODY. HE, IN HIS CHARACTER, CANNOT CONTINUE TO DWELL ALONG WITH THE FILTH, AND SIN, AND EVIL THAT STILL LIES WITHIN YOU. SO HE BEGINS A SANCTIFICATION PROCESS OF CLEANING UP THE SPACE WHERE HE DWELLS. HIS WORK IS NEVER DONE. HE IS ALWAYS WORKING. YOUR FREEDOM FROM AREAS HE'S CLEANED BRINGS HIM GLORY!
CHRIST CONTINUES TO BE YOUR HIGH PRIEST CONSTANTLY PRAYING FOR YOU AS HIS NAME IS NOW WRITTEN ON YOU. HE IS AT WORK TO GIVE YOU YOUR NEW NAME. THERE WILL BE NO MORE HANGING YOUR HEAD IN SHAME, BUT WALKING PROUDLY IN THE CONFIDENT ASSURANCE THAT YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD. YOU ARE AN HEIR TO THE THRONE, ONE WHO CHRIST HAS REDEEMED BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVED, CHERISHED, PRECIOUS, THE APPLE OF HIS EYE, AND HE NOW LOOKS AT YOU THROUGH CHRIST HIS SON.
THAT IS A PROMISE YOU CAN APPLY TO YOUR LIFE!
If you are reading this and want what you have just read, ASK GOD FOR IT!
There was a time in my life about 6 years ago when all I wanted in life was freedom. I remember saying over and over "I just want to be free". I didn't want to be trapped in the prison I realized I was living in and had been my whole life. I didn't want to feel the pain rising up unexpectedly whenever someone would unknowingly push on my open wounds that had been sitting unhealed and stacked up for years. I wondered if insecurity would plague me for the rest of my life. Big fears, little fears, and inconspicuous fears were driving all my decisions. All these things were affecting every relationship I had. I was living in a prison, I felt trapped, and longed so much to get out from behind those prison bars and live my life free from wounds controlling me, insecurity ruling me, and fears driving me. I pleaded with God to bring me freedom! I pursued after it with everything I had.
What I didn't understand until recently is that from the moment I was saved through Christ, I walked from being a slave to sin, the law, and my old master, the devil, into complete freedom and a new master, Jesus Christ. I've had the freedom all along not to live under Satan's lies.
What God has shown me is a deeper understanding through Romans 6 and Galations chapters 3-5, that I am no longer a slave to sin and the law, but under grace. God revealed to me that I've been going back and forth in different areas of my life from living under grace to living under the law. As I continued to read the Word of God along with my personal experiences, God graciously showed me that before belonging to Christ, I was a slave to sin and the law, and Satan was my master. There was no getting out from that slavery on my own. (As I tell this story picture yourself as a slave when slavery was legal). I was doomed to die there, as a slave, to my own sin and the law. Someone else would have to come and pay a high price for me in order to free me. The only one who could pay a high enough price that would allow me to go free, was Jesus.
I didn't go to Jesus. He came to me. Through suffering and dying on the cross, taking upon himself my sins and God's wrath for those sins, and rising again, he came to me in my slavery. He put out his hand to me and said " Come with me. I have just bought you with a high price and you are free from ever being a slave to your current master again." In that moment as I stepped from death and despair into hope and new life, I was free! In that very moment, I was a son, and held all the rights to being a co-heir with Christ. All these years I've had the freedom to stand firm and not be burdened by the yoke of slavery, but I didn't fully understand it. I have been giving Satan permission (when he has no authority because of my position in Christ) to bind me, over and over again like his slave.
Satan is a liar. He will keep putting his lies on you and weigh them down on your chest until you can hardly breathe...telling you that you have to walk around with shame and guilt for sins you've already repented of, or try to keep you under law alone. As you believe those lies they fix themselves like a very heavy metal harness around the back of your neck and lay over your chest. You then begin walking around slouched over from the weight of it and dragged around by the chains attached, as if you were still a slave. But you're free! Christ declared you to be!
I have come to recently ask myself, "Why, am I... a free woman...still slouched over at times with chains around me, allowing myself to be treated...by my old master...like the slave I once was, but am no more?" Christ, my new Master keeps telling me, "Stand up tall. Take off that harness. It was put on Me so that you can now walk away from your old master with no chains attached to you and experience God's limitless grace on you." Paul in the book of Galations chapter 5, says this to the Christians in Galatia as they struggled with falling back under the law: "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."
This is the new covenant that Christ is inviting me and you to walk in every day if we belong to Him. When Satan tries to pull on those chains and says "come this way," don't give him permission. He can only bind you if you give him permission. If you stand firm in the freedom Christ has already given you and tell Satan "no" those chains will fall right to the ground, because they are no longer wrapped around you. He can pull all he wants, but all he will get is the chain that you have stepped out of into complete and total freedom through Jesus.
Know the word of God and stand firm in what it says. If we don't know who we are fully in Christ we provide Satan cracks in which to hook his chains.
Don't give Satan the power he has no right to possess!!!!!!
God Bless you and I hope my journeys and struggles and things learned will help you in the glorious name of Christ.
Many times you’ve heard of God shaping his child like the potter shapes the clay. Right? I’d like to help you see it through another light. As my husband I were going through some very difficult times in our life God spoke to my heart and helped me to see what He was doing in our lives within the analogy of blowing glass.
When a glass vase is formed there needs to be a glass blower, right? It’s not going to take form on it’s own. It needs the glass blower to be in control of making, shaping, and blowing the glass into just the right shape and design he wants that glass to take. Right? So it is with God and his child. God showed me that He is the Glass Blower and we, his children, are the glass. When I looked into the actual process of glass blowing and how it was done I was amazed at the similarities as to how God shapes his child. I’d like to share with you and invite you into this process.
Here’s what the host of the video I was watching said about glass blowing “ Glass blowing is full of beauty, function, and inspiration. There's suspense, tension, and danger in the glass blowing process, after all they are working with fire. There's craftsmanship like you've never seen. All of that to make a beautiful piece of art and yet so fragile, with one wrong move it could shatter and break.”
Now when I heard that, I saw those words written all over God’s transformation/sanctification process. The time when he takes us through a whole new birthing process, and creates a new person. God’s process, although it doesn’t feel good is also full of beauty, function, and inspiration. God's process is going to produce a child that displays His beauty, that child is going to have learned how to function with in that beauty, and God is going to use it as inspiration to and for others. Maybe some of you have gone through this process or are going through it now. If that’s the case you can attest to the fact that this process is not fun. It’s hard and it is filled with suspense, tension, and danger while you’re in the fire. God's craftsmanship in our lives is like nothing we’ve ever seen! And He takes us through all of that because He loves us and it’s necessary in order to make us into a beautiful piece of art that will bear the image of Christ and bring God glory.
The glass blowing process is done and made in what is called the “hot shop”. The working temp of the furnace is 2100 degrees F. That is really really hot! Do you ever feel God turning up the temp. and the flames getting really hot in your own life? God may have you in the “hot shop”. Just as that glass needs to be formed and worked on in the “hot shop” God puts you and I in the “hot shop”. Sometimes we’re in that hot shop for 13 years. Like my husband and I. It’s up to God how long you need to be in the “hot shop”. Joseph (in the bible) was in the “hot shop” for 13 years being shaped and molded before he was birthed into the new person God wanted him to be. Listen, if God is turning up the heat in your life he’s in the middle of a very important process and it’s important for us to work with God.
Glass blowers also have another furnace called the “Glory hole” or “reheating drum” that is 2250 degrees F- used to make larger pieces and to work at them a long time. I had to laugh a little when I heard this because I have been in the “glory hole”! God has taken me, the glass, and put me right in that “glory hole” and has had to work on me a long time. Have you? There might be someone listening right now that feels like “how long is this going to go on...can’t i ever get a break...” I want you to hear right now that if God has put you in that “glory hole” it’s because he’s working on you and shaping you and that’s where the work is going to be done that will bring glory to God! You can bet when you come out of that hole, all that went on in that hole was part of God making the glass that will bring him glory. That’s where God gets all the glory! I’m assuming they call it the "glory hole" because it’s the place where the long hard work has to be done on the glass in order to create the glory in the piece that the blower wants in the end.
Then if the glass blower wants color on the piece he takes colored chunks and rolls the heated glass over them and reheats the glass again in the drum. For me God said “Ok Marsha, now I want to add some chunks of humility, more love, more compassion, understanding of others, understanding of yourself and your own sin, repentance, and more truth and faith.” And he rolled me into those chunks and reheated me again, back into the “glory hole”.
Glass blowers have to use many different tools, along with blowing, to shape the glass, and the heat from the glory hole allows them to shape the vessel that they want. The heat from our own “glory hole” is necessary to allow God to shape our vessel the way it needs to be for our good and God’s glory.
There are many tools for different things the blower may need to use:
One tool helps to shape the glass so they can get the core of the glass hot and it blows out evenly.
One is an old wet newspaper that allows them to shape the glass with their hand.
One allows them to cut and one to grab the glass.
One is just a standard tweezers to pick at stuff.
God too, uses many different tools on us.Take a look:
He has effective tools he uses to shape us and get at our core.
He has the right tool that will allow him to shape us with his loving hand.
He has tools he uses when he needs to grab and cut something out of us or our lives...such as impurities, sin, strongholds, bondage, prison bars.
And just a standard tweezers to pick out things that need to be removed.
These tools can look a little different in each individual life.
After the glass piece is shaped and finished it's still relatively hot. About 1000 degrees. The glass blower can't just leave it out on the table b/c of thermal shock it would crack. So they carry it and put it in what is called a Kneeler that keeps it at 900 degrees to cool down slowly for 12 hrs or over night. This process is called ‘a kneeling’-taking a high temp to a low temp slowly to relieve all the stresses related to the heat. After the glass is cooled off you're left with a beautiful piece of art.
The video pointed out that the process is very captivating, and when you look at a piece of blown glass you have much more appreciation for it because now you know how much it's gone through to be made.
After we’ve been in the “hot shop”, in an out of the “glory hole", shaped and formed, worked on with God’s hands and tools, He continues to tenderly care for us. As we are still hot from all the fire and the temperature of the “glory hole”, he doesn’t leave us alone to experience thermal shock and crack. He tenderly picks us up and carries us to the kneeler where he helps us to go from that high temp we were just in, slowly to a low temp so that we can relieve all the stresses that were on us due to the heat. Through this process we will see God for who He really is, see his attributes clearly, feel his tender love for us, and KNEEL in great awe and reverence, and humility to the Everlasting Father.
We will marvel at how he took a once balled up slab of glass and tenderly and lovingly took it through the “hot shop”, never once leaving our side. The glass blower, we’ve seen, has to be very attentive to the glass not leaving it for a moment. You can be sure that your loving Father has never left you for a moment!
Once you’re cooled, you and others will see a beautiful piece of art crafted by the very hand of God, displaying the glory of the Creator. We won’t reach full beauty until we see Jesus face to face and our sanctification is complete, but if we belong to God through his son Jesus Christ, we can watch God make our vessel more beautiful and new as time goes on.
Friends, this
is so real and so true that I have to share it. I have lived it and
am experiencing true Rest! It is terrible to live under the burden of
pretense and artificiality. Be free from it!
Please read these words
from A.W. Tozer :
"There is hardly a man or woman who dares to
be just what he or she is without doctoring up the impression. The fear
of being found out gnaws like rodents within their hearts.
...To all the victims of the gnawing disease Jesus says, "You...must
become as little children" (Matthew 18:3) For little children do not
compare; they receive direct enjoyment from what they have without
relating it to something else or someone else. Only as they get older
and sin begins to stir in hearts do envy and jealousy appear...and it
never leaves them until Jesus sets them free.
Artificiality is
one curse that will drop away the moment we kneel at Jesus' feet and
surrender ourselves to His meekness. Then we will not care what people
think of us so long as God is pleased. Then what we are will be
everything; what we appear will take its place far down the scale of
interest for us. Apart from sin we have nothing of which to be ashamed.
The heart of the world is breaking under this load of pride
and pretense. There is no release from our burden apart from the
meekness of Christ. Good, keen reasoning may help slightly, but so
strong is the vice that if we push it down one place, it will come up
somewhere else. To men and women everywhere Jesus says, "Come unto me,
and I will give you rest." The rest He offers is the rest of meekness,
the blessed relief which comes when we accept ourselves for what we are
and cease to pretend. It will take some courage at first, but the
needed grace will come as we learn that we are sharing this new and easy
yoke with the strong Son of God Himself. He calls it "My yoke," and He
walks at one end while we walk at the other.
"Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit the earth." (Matthew 5:5)
"Come unto me, all you that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give
you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and
lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is
easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11: 28-30)
Good Morning! This morning my heart is filled with the word of God and I want to share with you what I'm reading. It needs no other words from me. These words hold so much power and I pray that the Holy Spirit will pour them over your heart and mind, and that you will feel the love of Jesus for you the way I am feeling it as I read it this morning!
( highlighting is done by me; the words of Jesus are in red)
10 “Very
truly I tell you Pharisees, anyone who does not enter the sheep pen by
the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber.2 The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep.3 The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.5 But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.”6 Jesus used this figure of speech, but the Pharisees did not understand what he was telling them.
7 Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep.8 All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them.9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture.10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." 11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.12 The
hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he
sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it.13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again.18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” 19 The Jews who heard these words were again divided.20 Many of them said, “He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to him?” 21 But others said, “These are not the sayings of a man possessed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”
22 Then came the Festival of Dedication at Jerusalem. It was winter,23 and Jesus was in the temple courts walking in Solomon’s Colonnade.24 The Jews who were there gathered around him, saying, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly.” 25 Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me,26 but you do not believe because you are not my sheep.27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.30 I and the Father are one.”
I got up this morning and these lyrics were in my head, Turnaround
Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
And you're never coming round
Turnaround
Every now and then I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong
Together we can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
This is an old song from the 80's by Bonnie Tyler called, "Total Eclipse of the Heart". As these lyrics were in my head I began to think about in terms of my relationship with Jesus and all the times, as the song says, that I've fallen apart, all my tears, all the times I've been terrified and how much those times have shown me my need for Jesus. It brought me a comforting peace to think about how Jesus has been the only one that has set me free from so much captivity. Jesus' love is like a shadow on me all of the time!
John chapter 5:1-9 says this:
After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?”The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to
put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going
another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.”And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.
It says here there were many who were blind, lame, and paralyzed lying on mats. And one had been an invalid for 38 yrs. I'm just wondering if there's anyone reading this who has been lying on their own mat- blind, crippled, or paralyzed for 38 years. Crippled by fear, crippled by anxiety, crippled by depression, crippled by insecurity, crippled by an unstable identity, crippled by wounds, crippled by a wall of protection you've put up, or crippled by your need for control. The list could go on.
Jesus saw the disabled man lying there and knew that he had been there a long time. Have you been living a long time crippled? You can be sure that Jesus sees you too. He also knows exactly how long it's been crippling and paralyzing you, and He has compassion on you.
The man says to Jesus that he's been trying to get healed by getting himself into the pool, but it just never works. How much is that like us? How many times do we keep trying by ourselves get healed? Thinking we can do it on our own. We think we know what will help us. We lie on our mats hoping that someone or something will come along and help us into the pool. Maybe it's the right person, the right circumstances, or the right job you're putting your hope in to get you up off of your mat. The truth is those are all false hopes. We can't get off the mat on our own.
In those moments of my life Jesus has said to me,
"Turnaround".
While you're lonely, tired, crying, nervous, thinking all your best years have gone by, terrified, and falling apart.
Jesus says "Turnaround."
And when you turn around to see Jesus there he'll ask you as he asked the disabled man,
"Do you want to be healed?"
If you do...put your hope in Jesus Christ. Jesus came to set the captive free. Freedom sits and waits in Jesus and Jesus ONLY.
And then get up, take up your mat, and walk...Walk with hope and peace in Jesus to free you and heal you from what keeps crippling you! In my life it's been a process, but the key is keeping your hope always on Jesus.
Jesus Christ knows your name. He knows your life. He sees your captivity. He died and was resurrected to new life, so that you too could die to sin and be transformed to new life in Him.
Part of the definition of eclipse said this- the period of time during which such a phenomenon occurs, an overshadowing. My prayer is that you will let Jesus do such a phenomenon in your heart and life, that as He overshadows you, a total eclipse of your heart takes place...and you get up off your mat walking freely with the peace of Christ ruling in your heart!
Days turn into nights, year...after...year. Your life seems to go from one trial to the next, with no rest in between. You tell yourself you can be strong and get through each day. You think you're in control, handling things the best you know how. Till one day you find yourself unable sleep at night. Trying to catch your breath, but you can't. This goes on for weeks. You're trying to survive on no sleep, constant shortness of breath, and pain in your chest. You don't understand what's happening to you, but you're desperate for breath and sleep. Sobbing... day after day. Praying relentlessly for God to rescue you from it. As time goes on you also begin to feel this awful pressure and squeezing in your throat, like someone is choking you. This has never happened to you before, why won't this stop! Your life is no longer about living. It has become about just surviving one day at a time, barely being able to keep your head above the water while you vigorously tread the water with your arms and legs, but your limbs are getting tired. So very tired. You're not sure you can get through the day alive, but yet you have to keep going and doing life. You don't even know what you're doing half the time and you can't remember anything. After a while of this, your emotional bucket and physical body are trying to run on an empty tank. Your body breaks down...you break down. All alarms are going off loudly with BIGREDFLASHING lights from your body. WARNING!...WARNING! You've lost control!
The funny thing is... you never had control from the beginning...
Does anyone really understand what you're going through?
I do.
This story I've been describing is about me. Is it also about you?
I never in my life thought this story would be about me. But it is. This is some of what has been taking place in my personal life over the last 2 years. My husband and I have been going through a long period of affliction.
I have learned just recently from one of my favorite teachers, that an affliction means "to try to force submission". It is something that afflicts you. The definition of afflict is "todistresswithmentalorbodilypain;troublegreatlyorgrievously, tohumble". It can make you feel alone. It humbles you. It is something that is trying to get you to submit. You either submit and bend your knees to it, or you submit and bend your knees to God. Either way it is going to afflict you so much that you WILL submit to one or the other.
We have not been delivered from the affliction yet, but I can tell you that even though this has been one of the hardest most horrific seasons of my life, God has gotten my attention, and has been doing a whole lot of work in me in the midst of this affliction. I have learned some things that have made me very cautious to be slow to speak, make a judgement, or think I know what's best. It has given me a willing heart towards submission. When I get delivered from this affliction, I pray that what I'm learning will forever stay a part of my character, so I don't ever have to return to it again!
You see, I used to feel that submission was not a word I liked. I didn't really understand it well. I believed that it meant that I had to just be a robot who was always forced into things. Through this affliction, I'm learning that's not what it means. The core of it, that has been rocking my world, is the understanding that I am not self-sufficient or self-sustaining. This affliction has been showing me that I've never been in control of anything. God has only let me think I've been in control. When He pulls everything away from you, and you are in a helpless, hopeless state, with no way to change anything, you finally see your true need for God, and a dependence on a higher authority. I am learning that God loves me so much that He wants me to be under his umbrella of authority because it is there where I am cared for the best and safest, not because he wants me to be a robot. To be out from under His umbrella on my own is a very dangerous place for me to be. Why? Because left to myself I will destroy myself. I do not know all things. I do not know what is really best for me.
It's like this...for you females reading this... I have a desire, and most of you probably do too if you're honest with yourself, for a man (in my case, my husband) that will be perfect. One that loves you more than he loves himself. One that loves you with an unconditional true love. One that is always looking out for your best. One that is guiding you always for your growth, encouraging you and loving you through your difficult times of learning. One that is protecting you under his umbrella. Leading you with great wisdom. Never a worry about him abandoning you. No matter what he says or where he takes you, you feel safe because you know he's always got what's best for you in mind, even if something might be hard or challenging.
Well we know that a perfect human man doesn't exist, but we can have that if we live under the umbrella of God's authority. So I ask myself, why wouldn't I want that? I would! I do! I've had to ask God for his grace and forgiveness in so many areas, this being one of them. Submission to God is where I want to be.
Jesus spoke to my heart one day(not out loud) and said, "Come to the field where I've laid myself down. Lay yourself too. I did it willingly. I invite you to do it willingly. There is no love or sacrifice in it if you're forced. I laid myself down, and gave up my life for you. Will you lay yourself down and give up your life for Me? Who are you going to follow...yourself?...or Me? That is the battle you've been fighting."
Fighting a battle is tiresome...I don't want to fight that battle anymore. I've made a choice to lay down my life for Jesus, just as he did for me. And the best part is...I'm doing it willingly!
How about you? Can you relate to my story? Have you been experiencing an affliction? Please know there are others who understand. You are not really alone.
What battle are you fighting?
Will you submit to it or to God?
WHO are you going to follow? YOURSELF? or JESUS?
I write this to you with tears in my eyes because I know the battle is real. I know it can be hard. And sometimes, as with me, it has to be very painful for us to finally see the truth.
My compassion is towards you, but I know that no one can make these choices for you. They have to be made by you and come willingly.
I would never in my life write these things to you if God has not shown himself to be very real to me through his son Jesus. I say this with great certainty that only God and Jesus could bring about the changes in me for the growth of my character! I have never been loved with this kind of love in all my life! Don't take my word for it. Seek Jesus out yourself. Read about Him in the bible. Talk to Him. He is more real than the things you can see! When you truly, truly get to know Him you will want to cling to him and never let go!
My sweet 9 year boy said to me this morning with tears rolling down his cheeks, "Why don't I just forget about all my dreams. I always change my mind. I said I wanted to be a Ninja and now I want to be a Spy. I said I want to be a ghost hunter, but now I'm not. " In his deep desire to have a real crystal he continued amidst his tears, "I just want something that can be special to me, mom. Something that I can cherish. All I have are toys. All my friends have crystals, but I don't have any..."
I wonder if there is anyone reading this that feels the same way about their desires and dreams. Are there desires that you are passionate about, but feel hopeless in? Do you feel like no one cares?
Towards the end of this past summer we had a lot of neighborhood kids that would come to our house and play outside. There was this one little girl in particular that caught my heart. She was probably 4. One day as the weather was getting colder, all the kids were playing in our backyard. I was in the kitchen and took a look outside to see how things were going. As I took a scan of the backyard I saw the little girl sitting on our lounge chair. She looked cold in her little tank top, shorts, and no shoes. So I went outside to ask her if she was alright. Her hair was tangled and her face, hands and feet were dirty, but she still looked so cute and precious to me.
She told me that her foot hurt from jumping off the swingset. So I picked her up and said, "why don't we go inside and I'll take a look at it". I carried her right into the bathroom and set her down by the sink. "Let's wash up these little feet first," I said. I lovingly cleaned with soap between each little toe and around every part of her foot. I then moved on to her hands as well. I wanted to give her the best that I had, so I grabbed a new soft fluffy towel and gently began drying off her feet and hands. As I did this, she looked at me with her sweet little eyes and a soft smile and said, "Oh...that feels good." I also took the wash cloth and cleaned off the dirt from her face. "Now I can see your pretty face," I said. And prompted her to look in the mirror.
God's love in my heart wanted to give her the best of everything I had. I would have given her a bath and washed her hair, bought her awesome cuddly pajamas, and wrapped her in the softest blanket and held her on my lap if I could have.
The point I want to make is that there is no one that is insignificant to God. God sees the heart of my little boy and his dreams and desires, he sees the little girl in my backyard, and He SEES you! He cares. Even if you feel like you are insignificant, alone, and no one sees you...GOD SEES! He saw the little girl in my backyard, and He sent me out to her to pour His love on her. The world may have seen her as an insignificant dirty unkept little girl, but I saw her as precious, valuable, and beautiful. It doesn't matter how the world sees you. God sees you as precious, valuable, and the apple of His eye!
Did you notice how I was gentle with this little girl and paying attention to every detail, wanting to lavish my love on her? That is how God takes care of you, but even better in ways we sometimes can't even understand!!!!!!!!!
That day I was filled with more joy than I can express! God is also filled with an even more immense joy when He pours His love out on you and me in our great need!
Our greatest desire is to be loved, and our greatest need is to be saved from our sins and God's wrath that we deserve. God fulfills both of those through sending His only Son, Jesus Christ, to take our place and take on our punishment. What greater love is there? Really?... Think of it in these terms, if you did something that warranted the death penalty, and there was definitely no changing your sentence, but someone stepped in and said "no, no...I love you and I will gladly take the punishment onto myself. You are free now."
God loves you so much He sent Jesus to do just that for you! The bible says in Romans 5:8, "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Doesn't that touch your heart! It does mine! I'm so glad God Sees me! I pray for you that God will give you an awareness of His love for you and you will know that HE SEES you!
Don't forget when you leave this page that God cares about your life!
Alone... they don't mean as much, but put them together with each other and they become more meaningful. Such are the things of life.
Have you ever entertained the thought..."What if I am just a fool... A Dreamer living in a dream world? What if all that I've been believing isn't even true? What if the hope I've been clinging to is silly?"
I have. Those thoughts have came knocking at my door, and unfortunately I let them in. I know they're lies, but somehow they grabbed hold of me and began to affect my emotions. They became real to me. As I let them seep into my reality I began to feel even more depressed. In that depressed feeling I began realizing with even more clarity that my hope in God and the work of Jesus is solely what has kept me going amidst trials and hardships year after year. Without a hope that God has a bigger plan and purpose for me, what's the point? There is no point. We'd all be living life aimlessly, but not REALLY living at all.
Think about it...if there is no God, no bigger plan, and nothing after you die...what are you doing here on this earth? To love my family and do good for others, you might reply. But for what?... Why? So they can be loved to just die and it all be meaningless?
In the movie "Moneyball", based on the true story of Billy Beane and changing the game of baseball he said this:
Billy Beane: It's hard not to be romantic about baseball. This kind of
thing, it's fun for the fans. It sells tickets and hot dogs. Doesn't
mean anything.
Peter Brand: Billy, we just won twenty games in a row.
Billy Beane: And what's the point?
Peter Brand: We just got the record.
Billy Beane: I've been in
this game a long time. I'm not in it for a record, I'll tell you that.
I'm not in it for a ring. That's when people get hurt. If we don't win
the last game of the Series, they'll dismiss us. I know these guys. I know the way they think, and they will
erase us. And everything we've done here, none of it'll matter. Any
other team wins the World Series, good for them. They're drinking
champagne, they get a ring. But if we win, on our budget, with this
team... we'll have changed the game. And that's what I want. I want it
to mean something.
Just as Billy wanted meaning for what they were doing for people in baseball...Our reason for existence has to mean something. Or otherwise we are just living here to be erased and as Billy Beane said, "NONE OF IT WILL MATTER".
As I wrestled through getting the lies out of my mind I remembered something someone once said:
When God wants to drill a man, And thrill a man, And skill a man When God wants to mold a man To play the noblest part; When He yearns with all His heart To create so great and bold a man That all the world shall be amazed, Watch His methods, watch His ways! How He ruthlessly perfects Whom He royally elects! How He hammers him and hurts him, And with mighty blows converts him Into trial shapes of clay which Only God understands; While his tortured heart is crying And he lifts beseeching hands! How He bends but never breaks When his good He undertakes; How He uses whom He chooses, And which every purpose fuses him; By every act induces him To try His splendor out- God knows what He’s about. - Anonymous
This really helped me to get my focus back, kicking those lies out and jump-starting my believing again that all the trials and hard things my husband and I keep going through have distinct purpose and meaning for our good and God's Kingdom plan for people. There is a point. It's not just a big waste of time. God is always about the people. Our pain and trials will be used to bring comfort to someone else going through similar pain and God will use it to build our character as well and bring Him glory.
When I'm going through sufferings and hard times I always like to know that there is at least one person who can relate and understand how I'm feeling. It always comforts me to remember that Jesus, my Savior, walked the road of suffering. He knows what it feels like to be betrayed. He knows what it feels like to step forward in love to love people, and have them spit in your face, mock you, and walk all over you. He knows how it feels to be rejected and under-appreciated. When He came in the form of a human, to set us who are captive to our sinful nature free, He wants us to know that he knows the pain and how it feels.
If you are struggling right now or have been for quite some time through hard times...I understand. Let's press on together asking God to show us the meaning of our pain and trials.
If you are struggling with believing if God is real...open up a Bible and sincerely ask God to show you who He is. He will show you. It may not be when or how you expect, but if you seek Him He will answer.
What's your hope that keeps you going through hardships and trials?
I hope that you find your Hope in God's bigger plan. His great love for you and Jesus Christ's redemptive work on the cross.
Just like words, if you take seasons and moments of your life and separate them to stand alone, they may seem meaningless. But put them all together and you will begin to see them forming into a meaningful story with purpose if you walk with God and salvation in Christ.
Are you desiring for just one person to love you unconditionally and not make fun of you? Someone to lead you and have your best interests at heart? One who can, most importantly, free you from the wages of your sin which will only lead to eternal death? One who wants to have an intimate relationship with you and who cares for you so deeply that He watches over you all the time...never sleeping? I did!! And still do!! I've walked the road of feeling like I don't belong, being stuck behind the prison bars of insecurity and feeling like you don't matter, and frequently feeling overlooked. But not anymore! If you feel like that, I want you to know that God did NOT overlook me! And He does NOT overlook you! There is love and freedom for you through Jesus!
Jesus is that ONE. God is waiting for you to accept His free gift of love to you through salvation in Jesus if you haven't.
I believe that you can't speak into people's lives about things you haven't experienced yourself. So I want you to know that I speak all these words and anything I write on this blog from personal experience. Let's walk together!
